On Being Young and Its Downsides

When I was a teenager, I recall a ministry at my school run by a math teacher of mine who made T-shirts with 1 Timothy 4:12 printed on them.

Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12 – ESV

I cannot recall if I purchased one or not, but I can see the T-shirt in my mind’s eye vividly. I believe this was my first exposure to this verse. And, well, frankly? I loved it. It was the perfect Bible verse, I thought. I can use this with anyone and they should immediately take me seriously. Right?

Let’s just say it didn’t work well when I used it on my mum a few weeks later.

What feels like a lifetime later (really, just about 10 years or so), I was being ordained as a minister in the Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church, in the USA. I had just finished seminary, gotten married, and even began paying for my own car insurance! It was a whirlwind of a time for me. Interestingly, in that service, a dear elder friend of mine charged the congregation by reminding them of my age—perhaps more accurately, by reminding them that I was still quite young—and told them that obedience (cf. Heb 13:17) to a 26-year-old would likely not come easily or naturally.

Those T-shirts popped into my head again. I recited 1 Timothy 4:12 dutifully in my mind. I thought, “Yes, ensure that my age isn’t a factor!” I spent the next several years learning to cope in ministry with a variety of comments denigrating me for my age:

You’ve spent plenty of time in the classroom. Now you need to spend some time in real life.

You’ll learn when you’re older that sometimes the right answer isn’t the one which gets an A+ on exams.

Your youth is what’s getting in your way; there’s nothing you can do about it.

Yet, neither of these are right use of that passage, is it?

The Downsides of Youth

As a young man in ministry, I get interrupted a lot. My response is normally… well, a young man’s response: frustration, impassioned and spirited argument, and being hot-headed. Being young, it seems, has its downsides. Young men are regularly seen as “trainees,” those who can do little more than make mistakes and be critiqued. Associate pastors are temporary positions (not to mention the wholly unbiblical “Assistant” pastor) for men who are to “be groomed to be a senior pastor one day.”

The downsides continue internally, though, which seems to exacerbate the cycle. Young men who are regularly viewed unfairly can respond in the passion of their youth—confirming the external views of those making these off-hand statements. Young people despise being looked down upon, and resort to measures such as making t-shirts with Bible verses printed on them, dutifully citing the passage when it seems relevant, and having one on one meetings to express frustrations.

Missing the Point

Yet, in having this particular passage, it seems both young and older people have the tendency to miss the point more often than not. The young pastor who cites the verse seems to forget the latter portion: the way to address people despising our youth is to set an example. Actions speak louder than words, after all.

In 1 Timothy, Paul is laying down a litany of instructions for the young pastor Timothy. He is showing Timothy how the Church ought to be organized and structured. In these instructions, Paul recognizes a unique aspect to pastoral ministry (notice: not youth in general!). Paul rightly notes that some (many?) may see this young man Timothy and begin to write off what he has to say.

In the preceding verse, Paul tells Timothy to command and teach these things. Within that scope, Timothy as a preacher, teacher, exhorter, and all around minister of the Word of God should not allow people to despise his youth. How? By not acting young. He should set the example for even older Christians in basic Christian qualities: controlling the tongue (speech), controlling impulses (conduct), showing love, faith, and purity.

Yet, the first half of the verse still exists: it is within Timothy’s duties as a minister to ensure the office (and, by extension, the man) receives honor (cf. 1 Tim 5:17) whether he is old like Paul or young like Timothy. The common denominator here is the office which the man holds, to which God has called and the Church has recognized him to hold.

When considered, then, I firmly hold that both young and older Christians misuse, misapply, and otherwise unintentionally disregard the truth of this verse. What, then, is the solution?

Time Will Tell

It is my hope, now having set the general problem before you, we can move toward a solution. My aim here is to continue the discussion in two more posts: one focused on my fellow young pastors and another focused on older Christians (and specifically older pastors and elders). After all, sometimes it’s worth chewing on the problem for a bit before jumping straight to the answer—at least, that’s what my math teacher in high school told me.