Bearing With Each Other — Gospel Reformation: UK

Apr 8

Apr 8 Bearing With Each Other

Digital Communication & The Westminster Larger Catechism

“…bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you,…”

— Colossians 3:13

“…with all humility and gentleness, with patience bearing with one another in love”

—Ephesians 4:2

“Bearing with one another” seems to be the other side of the coin which says, “encourage one another”. We normally hear the positive, pro-active, go and encourage and build up. But we also need to hear the negative: don’t discourage, tear down or get tired of each other.

At the time of writing, with enforced social distancing and some in isolation and lock down, it would seem the normal challenge of church members rubbing each other up the wrong way has also been greatly reduced! Of course these Bible verses are always relevant. But it struck me that much of our communication at the moment is through text, email and social media. And generally I’ve noticed these are the mediums through which people cross wires, get misunderstood and upset each other.

I recently read back to myself an email that I wrote (just after sending it) and realised how grumpy it sounded(!) It would not have done if I were actually speaking the same words. Similarly, I recently received an email that I initially read as passive aggressive. Yet upon re-reading it I realised it was fine. At the moment – and perhaps more than ever given the situation we are in - we need to be clear about what we are and are not saying, and try to read everything as charitably as possible. We must certainly not impose meaning and intent that is not there, far less impute hidden motives.

This brought to mind some helpful teaching in the Westminster Larger Catechism (WLC) on the ninth commandment: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour”. Some people react negatively to the WLC for sounding a bit legal. The authors are trying to do the opposite. They are removing excuses, like: “well, that wasn’t technically a lie”. A survey of Scripture shows that the implications of each commandment runs deep and wide.

There are three questions: what is the command (WLC 143), what are the duties it requires (WLC 144) and what does it prohibit (WLC 145). I’ll not quote them in full, but just wanted to pull out a few bits to apply to the current situation.

WLC 144: The other side of the coin from not lying is telling the truth. The catechism expands that our duty is to do so and promote it in others, including “a charitable esteem of others”, “rejoicing in their good name” etc. Too often we are willing to expect the worst of others and that should not be so.

I’ve been in meetings where one person (verbally speaking) corners another. The trapped person often tries wiggling out through a “white lie”. Whilst they should not have done that, they were not helped. We should help each other tell the truth even if we know it might bruise their pride - we need to be gentle to that end.

WLC 145: The catechism, as well as tying up loopholes, shows that the commandment forbids more than just speaking what isn’t true or encouraging falsehood in others. It also forbids weaponizing the truth: “outfacing and overbearing the truth”, “speaking the truth unseasonably, or maliciously to a wrong end”. It’s quite possible to be right in the wrong way!

It reminds us of our duty to be as clear as we’re able in our speech (emails, texts and tweets). We should not use “doubtful and equivocal expressions”. And as we listen we need to actively avoid “misconstruing intentions, words and actions”.

These things always apply. However, at this time when we don’t see facial expressions as much, how much more do we need to bear with one another? Let us all endeavour to be as clear as we can and gracious as we read and listen.