I am not ashamed... but should I be?

You might be thinking that the rest of this post is about not being ashamed of the gospel. Paul’s famous verse is a rallying cry for evangelism. But it’s a bit of a rope-a-dope or bait-and-switch, because I want to talk about another way in which Paul speaks of being unashamed. The question of GR:UK and clickbaiting will have to come another time!

In 2 Timothy 4:6-8, Paul says:

6   For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.

J. C. Ryle comments helpfully in his book Holiness, (chapter 7 ‘Assurance’) saying:

We see the Apostle Paul looking three ways — downward, backward, and forward: downward to the grave —backward to his own ministry—forward to that great day, the day of Judgment. (Banner Ed., 135)

“Let us listen to him again. He looks backward to his ministerial life, and he does it without shame.” (P. 136)

I want to focus on the backward-looking element of Paul’s words. Paul has, on the one hand, lots to be ashamed of. He had a past that most of us couldn’t match for its evil. His hands were bloodstained. The church was left scarred and scared by his actions. But, in regard to his ministry, Paul is unashamed.

So when Paul looks backwards to his life, before Christ, and is unashamed, there is tremendous hope for you and me! That means our sins can really be forgiven. We can stand before Jesus fully cleansed and fully righteous. Paul preaches this over and over again.

But there is something else for us to contemplate. That is, having been saved, how have we lived? This is what Paul has in mind, when he says he has ‘fought a good fight, and ‘finished his course.’ His focus is on his post-conversion life. I remember when I was saved, it was many years ago now but I also remember how little my life changed. On appearances alone not many people could spot the difference. The Lord took a longer-term approach for me it seems.

When we look backwards at our own lives we should see all of it paid for by the blood of Jesus. That is salvation. But we can also see the way we have been sanctified. That is something to rejoice in. We also need to look back and repent. It’s not enough to know the truth. Biblical faith is about living that truth.

So that brings me back to my question. How are we doing? When looking back are we ashamed? If so, then the answer is easy even if the change is hard. The answer is to confess your sins and repent. The answer is to come to Jesus. Then there are all sorts of practical ways to fight sin. Jesus speaks of pulling out your eye or cutting off your hand. In other words, drastic measures.

The question can become even more pointed: how is your relationship with your besetting sins? My wife hates spiders. She really does. It is good that we do not keep flamethrowers in the house or we might not have a house left. Her response to spiders is visceral. There is a hatred when they appear and a desire to see them destroyed by whatever means is possible.

When we come to our sin, is that our response? This isn’t just the “big sins”, like adultery or pornography. But the “little” sins. How do we treat others? Are we domineering? Do we overstep our authority (if we are in a position of authority)? Do we, elders and ministers, model Jesus —Jesus who took the lowly position and washed feet? Or, do we build our kingdom? Will we look back and be ashamed? Can we say with Paul, I have fought the good fight and I have finished the course. I am not ashamed of my ministry.

The sad reality is that all of us will be, to some degree ashamed of how we have conducted ourselves as Christians, fathers, mothers, elders, and ministers. Some will be more ashamed than others. Some, like ministers who have fallen into grave sin, simply have much to be ashamed about. But we all sin. The answer is not to think that we don’t but to assume that we do and so seek to live like Paul. Secure in our salvation, developing a hatred of sin, putting that sin to death, feeding ourselves on God’s word, not neglecting to gather together, finding tangible help in the body of Christ, and pressing onward in the Spirit!

It’s never a bad idea to take stock. Maybe now is a good time.